Erika Hernandez, Ilse Munoz, and David Bethune were extremely kind enough to peer review my rough draft of the Persepolis formal paper. They provided me with many wise, constructive suggestions that would really benefit my final draft. They recognized that I was lacking a strong thesis statement, so I knew to really focus on that when writing my final draft. They also noticed that I did not include any type of personal experience in my paper. They suggested that if I incorporated my own personal experience, it would make my paper more strong and more rich. They also suggested that it would really strengthen my thesis statement and would really draw the reader in. Ilse especially suggested that I reread my Historical Narrative formal paper from English 1A because she said that she really enjoyed it and that if I was able to write like that, I would be in great position. The one thing they all really like about my rough draft was that I was able to incorporated strong quotes that really gave my paper a sense of direction. They suggested I enhance that sense of direction and improve the overall flow because they felt my paper has great potential.
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